So I've been on BC for the last 4 1/2 years, and in that time my intimite life with my husband has suffered. My mom thinks its because of our relationship with each other, as did one of my therapists that I saw a year or so ago. My husband thinks it might be hormonal, and we've been researching other methods to not get pregnant. I've read a bit about FAM, and also some articles against BC, how it can affect you negatively.
My question is, how much of a risk am I taking getting off BC. It's done it's job in 4 1/2 year by keeping me from getting pregnant. I just worry about what it's doing/done to my body and my sex life. I've read that FAM + condoms is as effective as BC. Is this accurate? My brother and sister were both condom babies. I really don't want to get pregnant right now. What do you all think?

The sympto-thermal method of natural family planning is 99% effective. No condoms necessary. In fact, if you use condoms during the fertile time, then the effectiveness falls to that of the condoms.

Many years ago (prior to becoming Catholic), I used the birth control pill .... I had NO LIBIDO on it whatsoever. I currently have no libido problems on NFP. My youngest child is 9 years old, so it's been quite a while that this method has worked for us and I recently even trusted it while I was on meds where I am not supposed to get pregnant.

I just went off of b/c because I couldn't find a pill that didn't have lactose in it. And I couldn't find another method that didn't make me react with "d". So we are onto condoms as well. We have our two kids and don't want to get pregnant again either! Do you have any good advice on where to find more info on this method?

Sorry to jump in on your thread! PM me if you have some advice please!

www.ccli.org

I think that if you research and are knowlegable about FAM, you should be ok.

THe faliure rate for that and condoms is mostly "operator" error. The majority of people just don't know how to put one on correctly!

Good Luck!

lol exactly what my husband said

I used basal body temperature succesfully for years, and my first child was because my thermometer battery died! Of course, I used to be like clockwork, but still, I managed to catch 2 times when I had a double cycle. I didnt actually pay attention to my mucous much, it seemed vague to me.

When I was younger and, um, wilder, I used condoms for the safety factor, and I was always the one who put them on - i didnt always trust the guys, and besides, they seemed to appreciate it!

Spermicide improves the effectiveness of condoms, but always gave me yeast infections, so I couldnt use it.

Of course, i havent had to worry much in a while, i've had 2 husbands snipped!

If you have very reliable cycles you can try the FAM method, but I would at least wait a few months before you trust it after you stop taking birth control. It can take time for your hormones and cycle to normalize after you go off the pill. Have you considered low-estrogen birth control or the IUD? I use low estrogen pills and they don't make me crazy like the regular pills. You just have to be extra careful to take them at the same time everyday.

We've done FAM+condoms just fine for ... five years.
I'd encourage you to get your testosterone levels tested (I think I posted that research article on one of your threads).

But 'perfect use' rates for condoms are really fairly high. Do everything right (don't use expired ones, don't expose them to heat, don't use oil or silicon lubes on them - which is important for some topical meds, put them on in a timely and correct fashion), and the chances are quite low. Of course there isn't zero risk - the only way to have zero risk is to not have sex (but there's a whole 'nother ball of wax if the problem with an intimate relationship is due to fear of having kids).

I find it helps, really, if you're cycle's readable, to know when you're fertile. It's *much* more comforting. You can have sex and say "I *KNOW* I can't get pregnant."

Once my insurance kicks in I will be getting this:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-con...ine-devices.htm

It's called an IUD and it's wonderful, I have talked to a few people that have it and they love it! PLUS there are no hormones involved!!! No pills to take everyday!!!! My infertility doctor (I'm trying to NOT have children, don't want them...in fact lol, i went to him to see if they have a donor program and I could give my "woman-ness" to someone who wanted kids and couldn't have them...turns out they don't do that! ) said it's totally safe and he has had REALLY good results with it.

The pill is crap. It made me one psycho WITCH! My bf would always say, "oh no mel........it's psycho time, call me in a week." and we would just leave each other alone cause I got CRAZY. I didn't take any offense to it, I knew it wasn't "me".

Best of luck!

I stopped taking BC pills 1 month ago after taking them for almost 8 years. I never thought I had a problem with "intimacy", but I've noticed a HUGE difference since stopping BC. I did some research on condoms before giving up the pill. I'm not ready to get pregnant yet! I found out that they are 98% effective with perfect use. The 80% rate that they use is based on people who say they used condoms as their main BC method and got pregnant, but doesn't specify if they used condoms everytime they had sex. So, like other people have said on here just use one everytime and use it correctly. I know a lot of women who have gotten pregnant on fertility awareness, but I don't know how correctly they were using it. Also, you have to have a very regular cycle for FAM to be effective.

Oh I forgot...
My bf and I use these little enema looking things that are spremeside and you place them up your va-jay-jay (hey, oprah uses the term!) and they disolve while your "doing you cardio" and work VERY well. We have been using them for about 4 years now. It's easy, cheap and sometimes hard to find.....near the condoms and KY and they are in a silver-ish looking box with pink and blue writing. I threw away the box....sorry.
Oh and don't get the injection stuff, get the enema kind, less mess and it really gets "up into you"...
wow, that was a lot of TMI....I'm trying to be no all THAT graphic but it's a little hard!

Do be careful of spermicides. Nonoxyl-9, the most common one, has the potential to be an extreme irritant. Don't get me wrong, I am quite glad that it works for plenty of people - the more options, the better! - but it can become irritating at any point, so just keep in mind what the options are.

It's definitely something worth taking time to research. And, for sweetfudge, I wouldn't make any decisions until you at least read TCOYF - taking charge of your fertility, the most common guide book to FAM. It might even convince you that it's too much methodical responsibility to be confident of reading your signs to rely upon and that you *don't* want to use it, but know the details of all of it first. (I had thought about an non-hormonal-IUD before I went with FAM, but with my history, my size, my cramping, and everything else, my gyn even said that I was not a good candidate. He wouldn't say it was a horrid choice, but not a good one given the risk profile on the side effects. It might have been just fine, I just opted to go a different way.)

lol haven't really looked into low-estrogen pills. talked with 2 doctors who both said that b/c i haven't had kids yet, they don't recommend an IUD. I guess it can cause some sort of infection or irritation that can lead to permanent damage of the uterus in women who haven't been pregnant before.



I'll have to do that. Thanks. Yes, I refer back to that article a lot, and have found a few more similar ones.



never heard of these. I'll have to look into them. you use instead of condoms? yeah, it is hard to not be too graphic when discussing this topic


I actually just checked that book out of the library today. There are suprisingly few books about the subject. Husband said he's interested in reading it too. I think we're leaning more and more toward FAM path.

Thanks everyone for your help!!

TCOYF is a good read for everybody. It explains so many things that you might not be aware of.

It helped us prevent pregnancy, also helped me realize I had cycle problems, and it also helped us time things better for having our daughter.

Well DH and I have been TTC for over a year (and old doc gave me the depo shot and didn't tell me how dangerous it was, don't ever get it!). DH and I have decided that we'll never use hormonal BC ever again (probably just FAM or condoms). We would both rather have an unplanned child than go through this again!!

Besides, FAM is really super effective if you do it correctly!!

TCOYF is a really great book to read. Good luck!

as for the Enema things we watch the calender (and by we I mean he!) and use BOTH when needed and only the enemas when needed. WE HATE CONDOMS!!!!

Hi. the fertility cycle watching worked for me for 18 months. We used condomns when I was fertile or abstained. One month I was around 3 menestrating women for the weekend. My period came early. During the following month I abstained from sex during fertile time. It didn't work. My timing somehow got off. My son just turned 10 Love him so. Never did that method again. Have used condomns, an IUD, and now hubby had vascetomy 6 1/2 years ago after our twins were 5 months old. (They were a planned pregnancy...no drugs, just natural twins).
Must be diligent with cycle charting.

I agree that Birth control pills can do horrible things to libido, I know that horror well. I am currently on Nuva Ring, and I find it not so bad... but still not my frisky self.

I would suggest IUD's over and over again. Any doctor hesitant to give you one really needs to get up to speed. They are quite safe and effective for many women who have never been pregnant. They come in Hormonal (Mirena) and Copper (ParaGuard). Mirena is good for 5 years, Paraguard for 10. There is minor discomfort for insertion and removal and most doctors insist upon monogamy. (IUD's increase your suception to STD's Due to low grade inflamation in the uterus). Catholics also have some resistance to Paraguard does not prevent conception, just implantation.

I would never trust FAM if your not fully regular and willing to invest time every morning and charting and... too much work for still too much room for error.

My mother has a metal allergy and had unbearable cramps the entire time her iud was in - that was 30 years ago probably, but you do have to still be aware of what you're putting in your body. I agree its easy to get lazy with taking your temp, but i've even had dr's tell me, the diaphram doesnt work when its in the drawer!

I also think that TCOYF is a must read... should be recommended reading for ALL women, regardless of TTC or avoidance. =)

My husband and I used NFP (natural family planning) successfully through 2005. We had 3 children, spaced perfectly to our desire. No woopsies, no oooopsies. I temp charted and observed signs of fertility.

Dh had a "V" after our 3rd child was born, simply because after 10 years, I was tired of taking my temp every morning. LOL! And, I wasn't about to go on bc - it makes me crazy.

So, it certainly CAN be done, successfully. But, it's not as easy as just taking a pill, that's for sure.

Lots of luck to you!

It took a few months after I had my hubby snipped to stop worrying all the time - what time of the month is it, is it ok? Is my period coming on time? is it a day late? Cuz using natural family planning was a constant state of worry and work, its true . . .but snipped is so nice!!

From what I understand, the copper IUD has only a small amount of copper, and the Mirena is all plastic. I have a nikel allergy, I suppose I should make sure that i do't react to copper if I decide to get one.!

Thanks y'all! The book is fascinating! I really don't mind the charting and stuff, just trying to learn how to diagnose my "symptoms". Anyone know a non-TMI way of helping me figure out my cervical position? Can't really tell up from down in there Guess that would be considered TMI to most. Sorry
Thanks for all the feedback. I would worry about an IUD because I think I'm sensitive to metals. I have a hard time with earrings. Hmm...maybe once I get sick of charting, I'll reconsider trying it out.

I would definately look into the IUD. Personally I'm on the pill (have been for about 13 years); but I have friends who use the IUD and are very happy with it.

I don't think you need to have been pregnant to get an IUD. I think that is the old train of thought. Check with your OBGYN.

I loved my Paraguard.

It is completely non-hormonal!
http://www.paragard.com/

I started natural family planning after being on the pill for a year, I got pregant because my cycle was regular and did a 180 all of sudden...Make sure you use a back up method for a long while to get the pill out of your system. My second and third were mini-pill babies and we have been using NFP and spermacide for the last 4 years and now we are using only NFP since now i have suffered from chronic female issues from the spermacide.
The pill causes yeast and hormone issues and spermacide causes yeast and other female issues...it messes with your body
Like my old pastor says, "If you aren't ready for kids, don't get married."

I've been reading this thread because I am in the same BC shopping around boat. I just went to my OBGYN, and he suggested an IUC (which is the Mirena thing). The Mirena website itself has a quiz, and one of the questions was have you had at least 1 child? I am supposed to talk to my DR next week and I'll ask why, but for now, if the pharm companies who try to sell everything to everyone say that, I'm inclined to think it's for a reason.

But you're theory is right, he said that up to 50% of women notice a significant decrease in their libido because it basically makes your ovaries stop working. So I think that IUD's and this new Mirena thing are becoming pretty popular. Since I've had a child, I pretty much stopped when he told me about this IUC... sounds pretty good. I do know that as others have said, the Mirena is hormonal (and plastic by the way) and the other is not. I'm inclined to go hormonal as I want to prevent conception. The hormones, however, do not go beyond your uterus. So, unlike the BCP, they are not in your blood doing who knows what...

I had an IUD inserted by a sadistic doctor in my teens. I have not heard of one that does not say that you should have had at least one child, they may exist but if they do they must be very new. Having an IUD inserted requires dilation and this is extemely painful for women whoses bodies have not already been through the process. I almost passed out on my short walk home and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. In later years after the birth of my first child I did use the copper 7 for a while and I loved it, the insertion of this was easy, just one little cramp and it was easy to remove. The only problem I had with the IUD after having a child was that sometimes my DH would be able to feel the removal cord but it wasn't anything uncomfortable for him.
The natural method methods can be quite effective if done correctly especially when combined with proper condom use. Just make sure your DH gets the correct size and hangs on to the thing when withdrawing.

The reason that they say IUD's for women who have had children is insertion is easier and the uterus is bigger to accommodate it. Women who have not had children may have a higher risk of expulsion or not even have a big enough uterus. It is really quite common for women without children to get it, but with a bigger uterus it's more successful.

My best friend had an insertion that was painful, but she denied the drugs offered. Most time they tell you to take a large dose of advil before the appointment and then take it easy all day.

Yeah, we've been using back up. Kinda frustrating waiting for my body to start doing it's thing again
My dr said that they don't do IUD's in women who haven't delivered because it can cause all sorts of inflammation, leading to infections and unrepairable damage...*shrug*